AniMat's Reviews: Walking With Dinosaurs
AniMat's Reviews - Walking With Dinosaurs is the 44th episode of AniMat's Reviews, and the 11th episode of Season 2013. In the episode, he reviews the feature film based on the BBC miniseries of the same name, Walking With Dinosaurs, and awards it the AniMat's Seal of Garbage, making it the 5th animated film of 2013 to do so (the others being, Escape From Planet Earth, Planes, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, and Free Birds). Transcript 1. Introduction ElectricDragon505: Walking With Dinosaurs In my review of Frozen, I mentioned that the Disney film was the last animated feature of 2013. Whelp, turns out I was actually wrong. Here comes this last-minute addition to come a few days before Christmas without warning. For some reason, I thought it would be out in January, I don’t know why. Anyways, would this film bring the spirit of the BBC Mini-series to the big screen or will the extinction of the dinosaurs feel like a blessing? Let’s find out. 2. The Story I just want to start out that I always thought that this was going to be the movie that both Spielberg and Disney originally wanted to do with their films; no talking dinosaurs, no love monkeys, just 90 minutes of the actual life of dinosaurs, very similar to the “Rite of Spring” segment in Fantasia. And with this, they were very close to actually making that movie, but then a group of possibly the dumbest executives put together watched that film and said: “Gahh, why the dino-ma-saurs not talking? I-I-I saw them talking in Land Before Time 27, a-a-and if they don't talk, that'll just confuse the kiddies a-a-and their mommies. Ooh! Ooh and, uh, while we're at it, can we get Sid from Ice Age and Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks for the voices? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tha-that'll bring in the moneyz.” And this is what ended up happening, the film is literally filled with just annoying dialogue! And when I mean filled, I mean that the movie is covered with 98% of non-stop voiceovers! What’s worse is that it's so obvious that this is a last minute decision, not only because the dinosaur's lips don’t move to the dialogue, but also because of what they say consists of useless and obvious expositions, god-awful juvenile jokes, or just talking about nothing because the movie is allergic to silence!* *(Another proof that this was a last minute add-on is if you look at the first trailer released of this film, you’ll hear absolutely no dialogue coming from the dinosaurs.) It’s like watching a long episode of Garfield and Friends, but more infuriating than funny. I know that this doesn’t really have to do with the story itself, but this really is a serious issue that affects the entire film and how it can be viewed. I can see what it's trying to tell, it’s an underdog story of the life of Pachi. This could have been a greatly told story; it could have been something that was both intense and heartwarming to watch. But it’s so hard to focus on what’s going on when the only thing to do while watching this is pray that they would shut up for once. This really is something that had potential and could have been innovative and timeless. But all that is literally buried six feet under with all the horrid voice-acting. 3. The Animation Where the dialogue feels like having a root canal on an electric chair, the visuals in the animation is the complete opposite. This is apparently done by the same people who have worked on Happy Feet and the Legend of the Guardians, and they have done a spectacular work like they did on their previous films. It’s pretty crazy how nearly realistic they made the dinosaurs to the point that it’s pretty convincing that the movie might have been just filmed and not animated. Not only do they move like they were once the giants that roamed the earth, but there is also such great detail that goes into each dinosaur where every piece of skin, every mark of their horns and every string of hair can be easily seen. It’s also important to know that the movie is done in a similar fashion to Disney’s Dinosaur where only the dinos are animated and the backgrounds are actually filmed. The views the filmmakers have captured are actually as beautiful as the dinosaurs themselves; they literally went to film at the highest mountains and some of the nicest looking forests just to get their settings. Also, the dinosaurs feel like they really do belong to those areas, the animators put on the right amount of lighting and sometimes dirt on them to look like they really do belong in these settings. If there is one good thing I could say about this movie is that this is a great example of how animation can actually blur the line of what exists and what doesn’t. “So if you’re reviewing Walking with Dinosaurs, a movie that mixes animation with live-action, then how come you didn’t talk about another hybrid film released this year, The Smurfs 2? After all, it is produced by an animation studio-” Look, Walking with Dinosaurs did it much more differently so that the animation plays a bigger role. How about I say no and forget it so that both of our lives will be simpler? 4. The Characters Now I did say that this is 90 minutes of the most annoying blabberfest ever put on film, but believe it or not, they were only 4 CHARACTERS THAT TALK THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE!!! There’s Pachi, the underdog who grows to proves everyone that he's strong enough to his fellow dinos, Alex, his friend and the narrator of the movie, Juniper, the love interest and Scowler, Pachi’s jerky and full-of-himself brother. Because of the ridiculous amount of dialogue in this film, THEY ARE ALL JUST HATEABLE!! How can just 4 characters fill an entire movie with nothing but horrible voiceovers? Like I said before, the only thing anyone can do with them is just wish that could just once STOP TALKING AND BREATHE LIKE A REGULAR CREATURE ON PLANET EARTH! They are other significant characters that appear in this film, like Pachi’s parents, some Gorgosaurus, Major, and a few others. Even though they barely appear in the film, they are the most likable characters in this BECAUSE THEY DON’T TALK! They’re just doing what they’re supposed to be doing while these idiots talk like their words are the soundtrack. This could be the worst thing about this movie; it’s not that the movie is filled with endless voiceovers, but it’s filed with endless voiceovers by only 4 PEOPLE! The characters only give out an image of who to blame when it comes to always saying the stupidest things and whom to say “STOP IT!” 5. Final Thoughts You know, after watching this movie, I think I understand why I said Frozen was the last animated feature of 2013, it’s because I wanted a little bit of hope for that year. Where even if it's littered with bad film after bad film, at least I could look back and say that it gave a fantastic ending, but then comes Walking with Dinosaurs to just ruin it all, like all gone, boom, no hope. It could have been a window to how dinosaurs really lived with amazing visuals; dinosaurs that can be mistaken for real and a heartfelt story, but by filling the whole movie with terrible voiceovers by just 4 idiots really destroys the experience and distracts the audience away to find anything good with the movie. The only recommendation I could give is just stay away from it, you’re better off with just Dinosaur, Land Before Time, or heck, just stick with the Walking with Dinosaurs miniseries! If you’ve really want to watch it though, then wait till it comes out on DVD or Netflix and just mute the movie, that way, you don’t have to suffer through whatever Pachi and Alex have to say. I don’t know how many times I have to say that the dialogue is atrocious, but I think I can cap it off by saying that it’s AniMat’s Seal of Garbage worthy! Story 3/10 Animation 10/10 Characters 1/10 Overall 3/10 '''6. '''The Bitter Conclusion of 2013 in Animation (After the review, AniMat has a little something to say about that year.) Matt Brunet (aka AniMat): Now if I may take a moment of your time, I want you guys to just reflect upon what you have witnessed. Now of course at first, it may seem like your average angry AniMat’s Review where I give out the AniMat’s Seal of Garbage to a crappy animated film again, but…really think about that. This is actually the fifth time this year that I have to give out the AniMat’s Seal of Garbage. The fifth time, Escape from Planet Earth, Planes, Cloudy 2, Free Birds and now Walking with Dinosaurs. All of which were released in 2013 and I have to give out the AniMat’s Seal of Garbage to all of these. I want you guys to really think about that. Category:AniMat's Reviews Category:AniMat's Reviews episodes Category:Episodes